Do you, like me, often find yourself wondering what to do with your teenagers over weekends and holidays? Are you forever trying to find a reason to drag them away from computers and X-Boxes? Here is one way to keep them (and you) out of the house…
GlobalGutz Paintball Club is apparently the fastest growing Paintball Club in the Philippines, with over 21 paintball fields and team building parks scattered all over the Philippines, but the closest one to us is Army Fun Club GlobalGutz Headquarters located at the Philippine Army Gymnasium Compound, on the corner of Lawton Avenue and Bayani Road just past McKinley Hill. Here you can play war games using paintball marker guns. It can be great entertainment for families, work colleagues, or teenagers in groups of six or more.
I arrived at the site with three teens in tow, to join a bunch of fourteen to sixteen year olds for a birthday party. The first thing our host asked me was whether I would like to have a go. ‘Why not?’ I said enthusiastically, but I held fire for round one to see how it went.
The boys were soon decked out in padded camouflage jackets and helmets with visors, in different colours for the different teams. I thought they might be rather warm in all that kit, but they really looked the part: tough and muscular and ready to fight. The Air Supply music was not quite in keeping with a bunch of broad-shouldered soldiers about to head into battle – Rambo theme music might have been more appropriate!
Before the boys were allowed to enter the course, they were encouraged to read the long list of ‘DON’Ts’. These included:
- Don’t shoot out of moving vehicle
- Don’t look down barrel of loaded gun
- Don’t shoot yourself
- No blind firing
Other points included a request to use common sense and a reminder that close range shots can be painful. I was already losing my initial enthusiasm.
Unmoved by my feeble second thoughts, the boys insisted on dressing me up and showing me how to hold and shoot the surprisingly heavy gun. The jacket was lighter than it looked but I took an instant dislike to the visor, which steamed up as soon as I pulled it over my face. I had to peer down at my toes to see where I was going. The ground was muddy and tree roots had a tendency to loom suddenly under my feet as I ran, lurching, for cover. Cowering behind a wooden fence I found myself petrified at the thought of raising my head, and having refused to do lunges at the gym, I found my thighs locked in a squatting position, where I couldn’t rise, and my only option was to fall backwards into the mud. “I am too old for this!” I thought, suddenly feeling my age, and ever-so-slightly panicky. I will admit right now that I am no soldier, I was not a bit brave, but the boys loved it, and comparing battle wounds afterwards is apparently half the fun. I could boast that I got shot in the head early on. They were right, close range shots are painful, but apparently you can live with a major head wound at GlobalGutz!
Issuing instructions fiercely at their team members, dodging and weaving between trees, shooting furiously at any glimpse of The Enemy, the boys stalked each other with the intensity of professional soldiers. All that killing practice on the PS3 and X Box was obviously a huge advantage. Meanwhile I quivered and steamed behind a tree, popping up occasionally to shoot madly at someone far less cautious than me. Wondering if it was ever going to end, I finally realized my team was being ushered off the course and I heaved myself upright and staggered desperately after them. The next time my trainer suggests lunges, I promise to submit willingly, in the meantime, anyone for a G&T and a massage?