A first visit to New York should always incorporate a meal at a themed restaurant. Our son’s best mate obliged us by choosing Ellen’s Stardust Diner in Times Square for his birthday dinner, and inviting us to the party.
Despite queuing for an hour in the freezing street, Ellen’s was a true-blue New York experience: a 1950s retro restaurant with famously crooning waiters and a kitsch New York menu. (Please note: you can’t reserve a table here and they wouldn’t seat us until our whole party of ten had arrived.) The doorman, with obvious physical qualifications as a bouncer, was inclined to be officious, but we were great friends by the end. Well, he had been watching us slowly freeze to the footpath for an hour – he had to show us some sympathy eventually!
We finally staggered inside to a rendition of Mama Mia and a vision of two gravity-defying waiters somehow balancing on the bar between the booths and singing at the same time. We were delighted.
Singing waiters, burgers and sangria – what more could you ask for? It was loud, but the atmosphere was palpable, and the kids loved the milkshakes and thought the whole experience was ‘awesome’. Our servers were enthusiastic and friendly, and gave the birthday boy more attention than you probably really want at fourteen.
New York Magazine called it ‘a tribute to that archetype of mid-century American Gastronomy’. I’m not sure I would classify it as my greatest gastronomical experience ever, however, given the old adage that it’s either quality entertainment or quality food but never both, it was certainly better food than I would have expected. And it was well priced, if you consider the entertainment as part of the package. Our food came briskly to the table once our order was taken, and the waiters were keen and as quick as they possibly could be when the restaurant was packed to the gunnels and they had to take and deliver orders between acts.
The staff certainly had some talent. As we thawed out, we were given back-to-back performances of Broadway show songs and popular music from the 50s, 60s and 70s – and even a bit of opera from one classically trained diva, which made an interesting contrast.
The earnest New York menu included such delights as Sock Hop Loaded Fries – ‘mounds of waffle fries’ – Hot Diggity Dogs, Blue Suede Burger and an Empire State whose description needed an Anglo-American dictionary to translate it. 
My own The Walter Cronkite hamburger was supposedly a favourite, and was certainly a step up from the average chain store hamburger, but perhaps not as spectacular as ‘the finest beef in the world’ deserved. Sundaes of every imaginable variety dominated the dessert menu, but we had to leave room for the birthday cake.
It was one of those ‘must do’ moments, and the perfect place for a birthday celebration. It was also the perfect place to embarrass the kids by joining in enthusiastically with the singing. Well, it was so loud, no one could really hear me… much… and at least I wasn’t dancing on my seat like the extroverted Granny behind me. I guess she was loving the sangria too!
PS Look out for a cameo performance from Ellen’s Stardust Diner in the new movie – another cheap imitation of 2003 Christmas romcom Love Actually – ‘New Year’s Eve.‘